Commencement speech

Good morning. Oh, what a day. What a lovely day. It’s a pleasure to be addressing the Wake Forest graduating Class of 2015. I want to start by thanking the administration and the Trustees for […]

Congratulations, class of 2005, the greatest graduating class in the history of Durham Academy. If you’ve grown up here in the Triangle this may be the first southern accent you’ve heard, so I will try […]

Notes: And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty […]

President Smith, members of the board of trustees, distinguished faculty, honored guests: thank you very, very much for inviting me to speak here today. However, with your indulgence, it is the class of 1983 to […]

I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I’ve ever gotten […]

My most sincere congratulations to all the graduates here. You made it through. You have a degree from a truly excellent institution. A lot of reading, writing, lying in bed (thinking, of course). And now […]

Hello. For those of you getting your first university degrees, I like your generation a lot, and I expect good things from you, and wish you well. This is a long-delayed puberty ceremony. You are […]

I know many of you were convinced last night at about six o’clock local time the world was going to come to an end. Just because it hasn’t doesn’t mean that it’s not nearby because […]

Good morning, Mayor Redd, President Barchi, Chancellor Haddon, Governors, trustees, alumni, family, friends, and especially — a very good morning to the 2015 graduating class of Rutgers University—Camden. Thank you for inviting me here today […]

My name is Bono and I am a rock star. Don’t get me too excited because I use four letter words when I get excited. I’d just like to say to the parents, your children […]